I subscribe to Google Alerts and one of the subjects I’ve tagged is BDSM. Since I’m an adult fiction author who writes erotic eBooks it makes sense for me to see what others are saying about this subject. And lately they’re saying a lot.
BDSM is on a high now. It’s all over the place in best-selling fiction, song lyrics, sex toy sales, water-cooler discussions and bedrooms. Even the Christians are weighing in on this topic. And what are they saying?
At least one Christian writer (A woman and a mom she says!) with a blog I discovered (http://www.hotholyhumorous.com/) had an opinion. She wondered, “So what is appealing about some of the hard core practices that we’re hearing about? What would make a person who’d normally denounce anything that smacks of mistreatment out in the real world fully embrace pain in the bedroom? Why is something that’s not okay (e.g., a man hitting a woman) in a hallway suddenly okay and even desirable when it’s placed in a sexual context? And why has this idea taken hold like wildfire?” You can tell from the above she’s having a hard time with this phenomenon.
Her answer as to ‘WHY’: “Couples are bored in the bedroom.”
Her prescription? “Explore sexuality with your mate through prolonged touch, flirtation, foreplay, oral sex, different positions, changing up location, game-playing, and investing in the intimacy you experience in other areas of marriage.” She quotes the apostle Paul: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8).
She goes on: “Sex with your mate is noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. God designed it to be. But not all possible sexual practices in the bedroom meet that standard. And ever-so-few BDSM practices meet that standard.”
In short, stay away from porn!
I take no issue with this woman’s devotion to her faith. She’s entitled to follow her heart and her mind as I see it. But, what I think is interesting is what she doesn’t see or acknowledge…
A. The role of guilt in sex. Religions have traditionally had a major role in defining what is ‘good’ and what is ‘sin’. And the role of sin in adding to sexual excitement doesn’t need anything from me to be obvious. If you make it forbidden, you make it desirable and very hot. As Woody Allen once said, “Is sex dirty? Only when it’s being done right.”
B. The natural human tendency to be either dominant or submissive. Anyone over the age of 18 (…and sometimes younger I suspect) has discovered that they either prefer to give or to receive. And BDSM is the endgame in that process between two humans when it comes to sex. I’m either on top or on the bottom. I either have the whip or I’m whipped. You get it…
Our Christian Mom isn’t ready to confront such things (demons?). She only wants her significant other to do to her what is noble, pure and lovely. No problem. Everyone has to deal with reality in their own way. If I believe in anything, it’s nobody’s business but their own what they do in their own castle (…or kitchen…or bedroom!). PEACE!
If you really want to be sacrilegious, read a erotic eBook I wrote (Crucifixion of a Woman) for a young Filipina named Maria who found the prospect of Roman torture erotic (Can you believe it?) https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/278909
Add Comment