Webster’s defines a cuckold as: “a man who has an unfaithful wife.” But is cuckolding addictive?
Watching their wives have sex with other men sexually excites a lot of men if current news is any marker. It turns out that there is some basis in evolutionary human history as well as in the animal kingdom for this behavior.
Men are easily aroused by visual stimuli; however the real answer may have to do with something called sperm competition. This is when the sperm from two different men are in a female’s vagina at the same time.
Wild Kingdom
It’s been observed that male animals in the wild are sexually aroused when a female has recently had sex, and quickly mount and copulate with a female who has recently mated. This appears to be true of the human male. Human males are highly aroused by this scenario. Hence, the attraction of hard-core pornography and voyeurism. Sperm competition makes it worthwhile for males to join in, and do so quickly, to compete with males who went first. This is a good description of the root of cuckold behavior.
Which Men are Cuckolds?
Many observers have concluded that Western cuckolds in tend to be white or Asian guys, somewhat submissive, often with a smaller cock. Humiliation frequently centers on the size of their penis and/or their sexual inadequacy.
Why are Wives Interested?
Why are wives interested in cuckolding their husbands? There is a basis in our evolutionary history for this too. The importance of orgasms to women may be driving women to seek out other lovers. Sexual dissatisfaction may be why women cuckold men. While men are very visual, women are focused on passionate feelings. Male fantasies focus on visual images, strangers and raw sex; female fantasies often involve someone they know and a slow build-up to passionate sex. Women also see “being made to feel beautiful” as an important benefit to having affairs. Finding a fresh partner who appreciates her is a major boost to her self-esteem.
It’s Also About Genes
What is a woman to do who loves sex, but who wants a reliable good husband? One way is a mixed mating strategy often called the “have your cake and eat it too” strategy. Acquire a provider husband who will invest food and care in your children; find a lover who can give those children first-class genes. Women’s sexual psychology evolved over generations when there was no birth control. Women in those times who had affairs with more attractive, dominant men had healthier, more attractive, babies.
Males likely to be cuckolded suffer because of shortcomings. So whatever inclines their mates to seek sex elsewhere is apt to make those same males unappealing to other females. They are losers two times over. When it comes to casual (one-night-stand) affairs, women want sexy men who are physically attractive. In short “studs” that think she is sexy and want to have sex with her.
It’s Also About Porn Addiction & Masturbation
As a cuckold, I can tell you I get hard with porn, but often failed to perform with a real woman. So I often felt inadequate. Concern about my cock size was always a factor. The more times I felt I failed, the more inadequate I felt. And that often did not deliver the pleasure like jerking off to a favorite fantasy. When I became a cuckold, I got rid of the stress and performance anxiety. I did that by having, in real life, something I craved when I jerked off.
I could live with a porn star. Instead of my girl, I was soon living with a porn star and slut. Bringing porn to life. This became porn leaving my computer and becoming my real life. I gave up having sex with a regular girl. I needed her to be porn star. It was the ultimate surrender to my fantasies by living them.
We were producing original porn for my masturbation. I was now using my girl to produce porn that fueled my compulsive porn/masturbation addiction. I always make sure to take photos and videos with my phone. Most times I don’t even join the party. Often, I just watch and jerk off. The ultimate masturbation: having my girlfriend behave like a porn star, so I can watch the real thing. This, more than anything, is what drives the cuckold. IMHO. And that’s why it’s so addictive.
JOSHUA REYES (joshreyes@talbotpress.com)
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